I never forgot you, Rose Tyler
by katherinerobertson
Summary: The Doctor and Clara are travelling once again in the TARDIS when, as the Doctor's luck would have it, something goes terribly wrong. Thrown into the Vortex that exists between worlds they find themselves in a parallel world. Yet, Clara can't understand why the Doctor seems so upset about this when she's just happy they're alive... (Meta-Crisis Ten/Rose) (Eleven/Clara)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who and gain nothing from the creation of this story**

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**Chapter 1**

"Clara?! Clara, where are you?!"

"Doctor? I'm over here!"

"Clara? Thank goodness you're alright, you are alright aren't you?" The Doctor was talking very fast, a sign of him being under pressure.

Clara's brow furrowed, "Course I'm alright, why?"

He nervously rubbed his hands together, "Yes, good, well, we, ahh, we seem to have, don't know how it's possible, but somehow, we – "

"Doctor, spit it out!"

"Yes, right, of course. The TARDIS seems to have, well, its out of control, that is to say, I've lost control of it, or She doesn't want me to have control, or – "

Clara's face displayed astonishment mixed with worry, "You're joking. How can you loose control of the TARDIS?"

He turned away from her looking at the controls while fidgeting, "Uh, yes, don't know, just sort of happened, She gets in a mood sometimes."

"Yes, I've noticed that."

The Doctor fiddled with some buttons, he shot a look back at her, "She isn't normally like this you know, the whole tantrum thing She's had going lately, normally She's brilliant, flying through time and space all on her own! Best ship in the world!" He patted her fondly.

Clara eyed the TARDIS warily, "Yeah, sure, she just hates the company."

The Doctor's head shot up from where he was bending over, "No, not at all, she doesn't hate y– "

His protest was cut off as the TARDIS flashed red and angry noises started coming from the console.

"No, no, no, no, no," the Doctor muttered, "Not good, not good at all."

Clara, who was holding on tight to the rails, trying to hide her look of terror, almost shouted, "Doctor?! What's not good, what's going on?!"

The TARDIS was spinning now, and they were holding on to whatever they could reach, attempting, and failing, to stop themselves falling over.

"Doctor! Tell me what's going on right now!"

"Well, we, ahh, we seem to have reached the end of the universe."

"What? That's not possible! The universe doesn't end! It's forever expanding!"

"Yes, well it is but– " he was once again cut off by more angry beeping sounds as the TARDIS was flung around, he raised his voice so that Clara could hear, "BUT WE'VE REACHED AS FAR AS IT'S EXPANDED! DON'T KNOW WHY THE TARDIS WOULD WANT TO DO THAT SHES GOING TO – "

He broke off, looking, for a fleeting moment, scared.

"DOCTOR?!" Clara yelled, "IT'S GOING TO WHAT?! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?"

The TARDIS, to Clara, looked like it was exploding from the inside out.

To the Doctor, it looked a lot worse.

"No, come on old girl! Don't do this to us!"

"WHAT?! DON'T DO WHAT TO US?!"

"HURTLE US INTO THE VORTEX!"

"VORTEX?! WHAT VORTEX?!"

"WELL YOU SEE THERE'S THIS VORTEX THINGY THAT SORT OF EXISTS BETWE– "

Clara gave a loud shout as the TARDIS was almost flung upside down and she was whacked into the wall, falling unconscious, the sounds of the Doctor calling her name being the last thing she heard.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who and gain nothing from the creation of this story**

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**Chapter 2**

"Clara? Clara, wake up! Please, wake up!"

Clara's head span with the Doctor's pleas as she felt herself regaining consciousness. Her head was throbbing and she was pretty sure it would be better to just slip back into oblivion.

She squeezed her eyes tight, trying to stop the swimming feeling.

"No! Clara don't give in! Fight it! Come on Clara please!"

That voice, she had to stay awake for that voice, he sounded so scared, so worried, a man who had seen things she couldn't even imagine, and he was terrified about loosing _her_.

"Yes! That's it Clara! Come on!"

Clara tried to speak but she knew there was no way that was going to happen, she felt the Doctor's hand though, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. As soon as she did so, evidently deeming her strong enough, he picked her up and started talking really fast again.

"Sorry, Clara. Need to get out, She isn't in the best shape right now, very damaged, you were only unconscious for a few minutes, should be alright, feeling okay? Never mind, don't answer that, of course you're not. You will be though, I'll make sure of it, promise."

Clara felt the Doctor's leg shift as he kicked open the TARDIS door and felt the cool breeze belonging to the night on her face.

"Doctor?" She mumbled quietly, "Doctor, where are we? What happened?"

"Shh Clara don't try to talk."

"But – "

"Clara don't talk. It'll be okay, I promised, remember?"

Clara fell quiet and focused on keeping her head up. The Doctor was mumbling quietly to himself as he walked but she couldn't focus on anything he was saying. After a while she felt herself growing tired again, her head drooping.

"Clara, no. Don't go to sleep! We're almost there!"

He started picking up his pace, until he was only a little short of a run.

"Clara," he said warningly.

"Right," she mumbled, disorientated.

She felt the sharp jab of LED lights at her eyelids and gave a faint groan, Clara started slipping in and out of consciousness.

It was blur, whatever _it _was, there were lights, and sounds, people and shapes everywhere. The Doctor's constant worried tones in her ears.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who and gain nothing from the creation of this story**

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**Chapter 3**

When Clara fully regained her consciousness, she was lying in a hospital bed. The Doctor was sitting next to her, head falling against his chest. She sat up slowly, and his head snapped up, eyes wide.

"Clara? How are you feeling?"

She looked at him, "Considering that your girlfriend just tried to kill us, fine."

"She's not my girlfriend! And She didn't try to kill us. She, just, uhh…"

"Sent us hurtling into a vortex? Yes I can see how that would be Her taking us where we wanted to go. You know, for a spaceship you claim is the best in the world, She isn't very reliable."

"Don't say that! Of course She's reliable. Always takes me where I need to go."

Clara looked around, "Where is She?"

"Uhh, umm, in the middle of a sort of fieldy thing."

"Fieldy thing?"

"Well, I don't know, it was a, a big patch of grass."

"You left her in the middle of a patch of grass?"

"You were hurt! I couldn't just leave you. She'll get over it."

"Right. Why am I in here anyway? Don't you have some alien technology or something?"

"Yes, well, it was destroyed in the crash."

"Oh."

They looked at each other and Clara recognized some of the worry she had heard before she fell unconscious.

"I'm alright, really!"

He stared at her.

"Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm going to die at any second!"

"Are you?"

"No! Of course not! Oi! And you!"

"What?"

"Don't avoid it!"

He averted her eyes and looked out the window, "Avoid what?"

"Telling me what happened in there! Why did the TARDIS go crazy on us?"

"She didn't go crazy on u – "

"Doctor! Tell me what happened!"

"Uhh, yes, well, the TARDIS may have malfunctioned a tiny little bit – "

"A tiny little bit?! She hurtled us into the edge of the universe! I think that's a big bigger than a tiny little… " Clara trailed off, looking around, "Hold on. Where are we anyway? If we're out of the universe shouldn't there be, I dunno, nothing?"

"No, well, yes, umm, both actually, but, that doesn't matter because we aren't out of the universe."

"What? I thought you said– "

"Yes, yes, I did but, we aren't outside the universe because, because, well, we're in a parallel one."

"WHAT?!"

"Shh!" The Doctor said making frantic shushing noises, as he glanced wearily at the door.

"A parallel universe? Is that even possible? Why haven't we been to one before?"

The Doctor's eyes clouded over, heavy with the weight of the reason why.

His voice was somber, "It's a long story," he looked at her, "A long story for another time Clara."

She stared at him and inclined her head at the hospital bed, saying simply, "We've got time."

He laughed, a hollow dead laugh that held no humor.

"Yes," he said fondly, but sadly as he held her hand for a brief second then stood up and walked to the window.

His face reflected in the window, allowing Clara to see the miserable heartbroken expression on it.

He gave a very large, long sigh and began.

"There was a planet," he started quietly, "A planet that held the most amazing things. You should have seen it Clara, the colors, the snow in winter, the grass in spring! It was, so very beautiful. And on this planet, in this one city, there lived a race. A race that together, looked after time, mended it, watched over it and protected it. They held the ability, with their technology, to travel to other planets, through time and through space and to other worlds, worlds beyond this universe, that had never been seen before. And then the others saw it, they saw that power, and became determined to take it for themselves. But the power Clara, oh that power, it corrupted them, made them think of themselves as higher beings than others. So, these people, once great, kind and peaceful beings, turned on everything, and everyone. Were determined to do everything they could to keep it for themselves. And, as it would happen, a war broke out, between two once mighty races, the Time Lords and Daleks. The last Great Time War, destroying Gallifrey, and destroying my home."

Clara looked at him sadly and, although she knew the answer, asked quietly, "What happened to the others?"

"They died," he said simply, in a way that made her know he had told this many times before, "All of them. Every last one there was. All gone. Sealing off the other worlds forever. So many things undiscovered and unseen. All of them, gone, forever."

His forehead rested against the window. Clara knew, from the look in his eyes, there were so many things he wasn't telling her, secrets he wouldn't tell. Something had happened, something that made this story so much more personal than he was letting on. The wretched look, one speaking of loss, and love was painted clearly across his face. Clara both hated and relished times like this. Times when, the Doctor seemed so much more human, when he would unconsciously open up to her, let her see the pain that, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, quietly sat in the depths, the layers, of his heart.

"I'm so sorry."

He turned to look at her and she saw the brief image of him with tears in his eyes before he blinked them away.

He gave a small smile, "Yeah, well, life goes on."

And that was the most heartbreaking thing Clara had ever heard.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who and gain nothing from the creation of this story**

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**Chapter 4**

Clara stared at the TARDIS in shock. The Doctor was right, She was a wreck. It was the worst Clara had ever seen Her. She looked battered; the paint was peeling and scratched, the sign on the door had burned and curled at the corners and the light bulb at the top had shattered and was now non-existent. The Doctor walked up to the door and wrenched it open.

He looked back at Clara, "Coming?"

She looked startled, "Of course."

It looked even worse inside. Bits and pieces were everywhere, pipes and metal and seemingly random things. There were voices echoing, memories bouncing off the walls of the TARDIS.

Clara walked around inspecting the fallen misplaced pieces. Hoping they would uncover some more of the Doctor's clouded past as he fiddled with the broken consol.

He muttered as he worked, pulling and pushing buttons and levers. Clara used the excuse of cleaning to pick up things and inspect them.

"No, no, no! Anywhere but here! Please! Why?!"

Clara looked up from what she was doing, the Doctor was holding his head in his hands, looking more tired than Clara had ever seen.

"What is it? Doctor, what's wrong?"

He looked up at her, he looked shocked that she was there, "What? Uhh nothing. Nothing at all."

She raised an eyebrow at him and stated clearly, "You're lying."

"No, no, I'm not. Really, everything is fine. Trust me."

He smiled at her; she gave him a calculating look and after a pause nodded, "Okay."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who and gain nothing from the creation of this story**

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**Chapter 5**

Clara followed the Doctor down the street. She had no idea where they were and no idea where they were going but he seemed to have a certain destination in mind. He looked nervous, a look you rarely saw on him.

"So," Clara started, "Parallel worlds?"

"Parallel worlds," he confirmed.

Clara voiced a question that she had feared the answer to since they arrived.

"Can we get back? To our world I mean?"

No answer.

"Doctor?" Clara was even more nervous about the answer now.

"Yes."

"Is that a lie?"

"No, maybe, I'm not really sure."

"Not sure? That's convenient. Can't you just, I don't know, fly really fast towards the edge and go back through?"

"No."

"No? Care to elaborate?"

Pause. Clara glanced at the Doctor.

"The pressure," he said.

"Right… pressure." Clara replied looking confused.

"The pressure should have killed us. The worlds should be sealed off, well, not really sealed off but unreachable, because there's only one TARDIS handling the pressure. See, when there were more of us, more Time Lords, more TARDISs they could share the pressure around themselves, in a sort of telepathic force. But, now, with only one TARDIS it should have crushed it completely." He looked at her, eyes hard. "Clara, we should have died."

Clara fell quiet. The Doctor didn't seem to mind and was glancing around, looking for something particular.

He seemed to spot it, and sped up his pace, walking up to a pale yellow door. Clara stopped at the steps as the Doctor looked at the door.

"Doctor? What is it? Do you know someone here?"

He looked at her, eyes heavy, "Once," he said quietly, "Once, a very, very long time ago."

And with his eyes still on Clara, he knocked slowly on the door.

There was no answer and the Doctor turned to leave.

Then the door was opened with the sound of laughter and a pretty cockney accent calling out.

"Hello?"

The Doctor turned around to face the girl and Clara looked between them and his face, the face displaying a man attempting to hide his sadness.

Clara saw the Doctor's lips move quietly as he asked the girl something.

Clara walked forward to stand next to him as she heard her say, "Not anymore," with a smile.

The Doctor did not look surprised at that answer.

A man walked up and stood next to her and with a smile inquired, "And who might you be?"

The Doctor seemed at a loss for words, so Clara stepped forward, "I'm Clara and this is the– "

He cut her off, "I'm Iunius Faber."

Clara stared at him and noticed the look that passed between the other man and Doctor.

The English woman spoke up, "Iunius Faber? That's an unusual name."

There was a pause and Clara broke it, "You were saying?" She asked, looking at the girl.

"What? Oh right. Yes, we got married." She said, beaming, obviously coming to the conclusion that they both knew her by name from somewhere. "So the name changed you see?"

"To what?"

The man finally spoke up, "Smith," he said.

He gestured his hand to first himself then the girl, "It's John and Rose Smith. Nice to meet you."

He held his hand out to shake and Clara was happy for these friends of the Doctor's.

Then she saw the Doctor's face.

And she was confused.

Why did he look like that?

Why?

Why did he look like he had just heard the most beautiful, yet most heartbreaking thing in the entire world?


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who and gain nothing from the creation of this story**

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**Chapter 6**

"Doctor? Where are we? Who are these people?" Clara whispered as they sat in the living room drinking tea.

"Old friends."

"Don't lie to me. They have no idea who we are."

"Will you be staying long?" The brown haired man stood in the doorframe.

"Don't know. Haven't really thought about it."

"Do you have anywhere else to stay?"

"No, don't know anyone else here."

"How damaged is She?"

He tilted his head, considering it, "About an eight I'd say."

Clara watched them, "You know." She inclined her head to the man, "You know who he is."

"We've met, yes."

She turned to the Doctor, "Then why? Why did you lie about your name?"

She saw the blonde walk past the door to the kitchen calling out she was getting biscuits.

"Its her, isn't it? You don't want her to know."

He paused, "Doctor, answer me."

"Yes."

Clara went to say more but the girl walked in. She and the man sat down across from them on the antique sofa.

"Alright," she said nodding between the two men, "So? How do you two know each other?"

"Old friends. Well, I say old friends, we're actually sort of, well, he's me."

"What?"

Her husband looked at her, "You heard me. He's me. You know," he inclined his head.

Rose looked shocked and sat there saying nothing with her mouth slightly open.

Clara watched this confused. Obviously they knew something about the Doctor she didn't. Who were they?

The man was speaking again, "They'll be staying for a while."

He stood up.

"Wait," the girl grabbed his hand. "How? How did you know?"

"It's always the name that gives it away. Names are amazing, most powerful thing in the universe. Tell someone the right one you can know his or her whole story. Iunius Faber, the Latin equivalent for John Smith."

And leaving Clara looking confused, and Rose looking baffled, he walked out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who and gain nothing from the creation of this story**

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**Chapter 7**

The Doctor sat at the table, it was late, but he couldn't sleep. He looked at the stars, remembering, and wishing that there was a way to get home. A way to fix things so that this had never happened. A way time could mend this like it normally does.

"How many?"

Rose was behind him.

He had felt it rather than heard her come into the room. Even after all this time he could feel the connection, he still missed her so much. He missed all of them. His heart ached with guilt every time he thought about all his lost friends.

"Doctor? How many times have you replaced me?"

He looked up into her face, oh that face, the one he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Her blonde hair was glowing faintly in the moonlight and she looked beautiful. After so many years, all he wanted to do was tell her everything, tell her to make it go away. Change the past and live the future with her.

"I never replaced you Rose Tyler."

"Did you try to?"

He looked at her, "Yes. It hurt too much."

She turned away, "How many times, Doctor?"

He shook his head slowly, "Too many Rose Tyler. I'm so sorry."

She looked out at the stars sadly, "How many have there been?"

The Doctor looked down at his hands.

"Five of them. Five friends I've loved and lost Rose Tyler. I always loose them but it never hurts like when I lost you."

She turned back to him and the memories that had been repeating themselves over and over since he'd first seen her appeared again. When she entered his life, and when she left, that store, that beach, over and over.

"Who were they?" It was a whisper, a test, seeing if the Doctor truly did care, if he remembered all of them.

A deep breath, a small chuckle, "Martha Jones. She was my doctor."

Rose took a deep breath, "And what happened to her?"

The Doctor's eyes flickered up to her face then back down to his hands.

"Nothing. She chose to leave."

Rose looked slightly surprised; who would chose to leave the Doctor?

"Then there was Donna Noble," he said with a sad smile. "She had to forget everything. She got married, had a family. And I left."

His voice quivered a little.

"After that there was Amy. My little Amelia Pond, the girl who waited."

He sighed deeply, pain in his eyes.

"Her fiancé, Rory, joined us later as well, and they were happy."

"Doctor?"

He risked a glance.

"What happened?"

It was obvious to Rose it had been something bad.

"The Weeping Angels. And, they were sent back in time."

He swallowed, tears appearing in his eyes, the death of his friends, the inability to help them that still haunted him.

"They're dead now?" Rose asked quietly.

He swallowed.

"Yes, Rose Tyler. They're dead." He said it quietly, like he could pretend that they were just at home, asleep.

"And now I have Clara, who you've met."

He looked up at her, eyes blurry with tears yet still intense, "I promise you, Rose Tyler. I promise you I stopped trying to replace you a very, very long time ago."

Rose sat down next to him and stared at her hands.

"How long has it been since that day? Since the beach?"

He stared out the window, remembering, "It has been a very, very long time."

Rose swallowed; she was scared of the next answer. The Doctor had had travelled with so many, she was just one in a long list.

"And how many times? How many times have you forgotten my name?"

"I have never forgotten you, Rose Tyler. Never. Not a day has gone by when I haven't though of you, of us, of that beach and those words I never had the courage to say."

He turned his head and they locked gazes, and his voice lowered to a guilty, depressed tone.

"But I'm sorry Rose Tyler. I am so, so, sorry. I tried to forget. I tried to forget you so many times. I've tried to forget you Rose because," he paused, a lone tear rolling down his cheek, his voice lowering to a whisper, "It just hurt, so very much."

Rose Tyler looked at him, tears in her eyes, and whispered in the most heartbreaking tone he had every heard, "Why Doctor? Why?"

She paused like she was going to regret what she was about to say.

The Doctor sat quietly waiting for the words he knew would break his heart.

And they did, "Why did you come back?"

The Doctor felt like his heart had been ripped to pieces, a girl who was once his best friend didn't want him anymore. All he ever did was hurt people, and now, it wasn't his absence that had hurt her, it was his return.

He swallowed, and trying to hide the pain and heartache on his face, he looked up and whispered, "I'm sorry."

She stood up slowly and turned to leave the room without replying.

The Doctor reached out to stop her but his hand just clasped thin air as she walked away.

In a desperate attempt the Doctor to get her to stay, to listen to him, he tried once more saying what he had once thought had never needed to be said. It was meant to come out sadly, yet strong, but his voice came out broken, the voice of a man who had suffered so much pain he no longer knew what to do.

"Rose, wait."

The broken voice made Rose pause but she wouldn't look back at his tear streamed face.

"Just... just... just, you know... don't you?"

The Doctor stopped, froze up, what was he doing? He couldn't say that. He stared at her back and he realized that this might be his last chance to repair what he had broken. He had lost all his friends and he said that the Universe didn't make deals, but here she was, and, he was being given a chance to regain someone he had lost.

He took a deep breath, "You know... please.. just.. just.. tell me you know... that... that I have always loved you."

There, he said it, his heart was on the line now.

And she turned back, "I know Doctor."

Had he done it? Had he saved the thing he regretted loosing most in the entire universe?

"But you never said it."

And then she left.

Rose Tyler walked out and left him sitting alone in a kitchen.

Alone with the shadows flickering across the sand patterned tiles on the walls. The lone wolf howling outside. Those last words echoing around his head.

His world imploded again, nothing was stable or safe.

The Doctor cursed.

He should have known.

As if he had been stupid enough to think deserved love and the chance to fix things.

The first rule he had ever learned.

The one thing his dad used to tell him over, and over, and over.

The Universe didn't make deals.

He had just confirmed what he had already suspected.

That he was too late.

Rose Tyler was gone from him and he knew that now.

_He knew_.

He knew that his Bad Wolf was never coming back.

And as the Doctor sat there, his head in his hands, tears flowing slowly, steadily, he heard something.

A sound that was somehow familiar.

He heard Rose Tyler crying.

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**Is it weird I uploaded 7 chapters at once? Probably. Sorry but I haven't written the next one so you'll have to wait! Reviews and ideas are greatly appreciated though!**


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